Faithful One By Beth Collins
I held my breath.
Not consciously, but time slowed at that moment, and I sat perfectly still. The early afternoon sun neared the horizon, and a gentle breeze blew through the green pines. The church campground had gone from a celebration of baptism with all of its excitement and promise to a settled and foreboding hush. Groups of men and women huddled in small groups to pray, children and teens moved about with an undirected air of quietness.
Three hours had passed since my father and other pastors from area churches moved to the waterfront with singing and prayer. It was the highlight of the yearly gathering of the district church. Mom, Dad, and I led the proceedings with music. Three-part harmony long learned from singing in church and evangelistic meetings throughout the year. Mom, a trained soprano, Dad a self-taught tenor, and me – filling in the gaps with a second harmony.
Pastors and new believers went in the water and came out until it was my father’s turn. He had a number of young people to baptize that year. God had blessed our church with a great group of enthusiastic youth, and on that day, eleven of them waited in line by the water’s edge to go out and “get dunked,” as they would say. I watched. I knew my father hadn’t been feeling well before the service, but there was nothing that could keep him from being in the middle of that celebration. He had long said that he wanted to die with his boots on, in the middle of serving the Lord. He would not let those youth down. He would not let his calling be silenced by a little unsettledness in the body.
That was my dad.
Larger than life, a lover of the Saviour, a servant of his calling. The last of the youth walked in, and my father followed. His breathing was irregular. Leaning on his friend, he asked for a lift up the hill from the lake, and Mort gladly assisted. Three minutes to the top of the hill, three minutes to see him collapse at the flag pole. Three minutes. Nothing in the span of eternity, but an eternity in the span of consequence. Moments are a blur. On-site nurses, sirens wailing, diligent paramedics, and the fading sight of tail-lights as my mom and dad were whisked away. I held my breath as the moments passed, but in my heart I knew. My dad was gone and I waited with the friends he had baptized.
Had we prayed? Had we hoped? Had we believed that God could do miracles? The answer is yes! Hundreds had prayed and hundreds had hoped but in the end, he had died.
Had God failed?
I have always remembered the wise words of my faith-filled mother on that night. My mother who had quit her career years 30 years previous to raise 5 children and work in the church. My mother who had relied solely on my father for income as they worked in the church together. My mother who lived in the parsonage of a church that now had no pastor, which made us homeless. My mother who arrived back at the camp, coming from the hospital after seeing my father lie lifeless on a table, to pick me up.
My mother, who in her calm but heartbroken voice looked at me and said, “Beth. An all wise God never makes mistakes, and we will trust him.” My widowed mom, in her moment of grief, reminded me of our God and His promises. She chose to look up and have faith.
She chose to trust and believe in the face of devastating news. And I – I look back and marvel. But more importantly, I look back and remember. I remember how those words and that spirit have shaped my life. I am blessed.
Job’s friend stated the obvious to him; amid his sufferings, he looked Job in the eye and said, “People are born for trouble as readily as sparks fly up from a fire.”(Job 5:7). Wow! Those words were spoken over 25 centuries ago. Two thousand and five hundred years, and nothing has changed!
Life happens, relationships fail, people disappoint, plans go sideways, sickness takes loved ones, economies crash, and the list goes on. That’s where we live. In this world! Jesus himself reminded us that, “In this world, you will have trouble.” (Jn. 16:33), but, unlike Job’s comforter, he follows it up and says, “But take heart, I have overcome the world.” Life can be hard. Disappointment will be a part of it, and that is a certainty. But in the midst of it, please know and understand that you are not alone! Even when you wonder what God is doing.
Even when your earthly security is pulled out from under you. Even when you/we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, we do not have to fear evil, because “The Lord is our shepherd! (Ps. 23) I am so very glad that I had the living example of my father and my faith-filled mom to speak trust into my life through all of life’s ups and downs. Listen again to her words and, even if you do not understand where God is right now, even if you do not know what He is doing or not doing, in the midst of your joy or your pain, hear the words. An all wise God never makes mistakes, and we will trust him. Honestly, I still don’t understand God sometimes. I sometimes wonder where He is. I often cannot see His plan no matter how hard I try. But what I do know is that some forty years on from that day at the campground, my God has been faithful and He has not failed his promises. My job is to trust. His job is to be God.
Thanks, mom, and thank you God for your faithfulness through the darkest times in life.
Reach out to Beth at beth@tailoredcoaching.ca